in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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