I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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