i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
