Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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