Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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