was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
