If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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