And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
