i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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