matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
