forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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