Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I can text with my tongue
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I take back everything I said about communal showers
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
