Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
