LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
