I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
