if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
