I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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