My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
