I wannas sexs uuuuu
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
