He kissed a someone with a penis
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
