Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
