he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
