hotel room ftw
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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