THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
