We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
