I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
