If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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