just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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