Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
