i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
