Small penises have feelings too.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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