I think i peed on brittanys purse
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
