Small penises have feelings too.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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