I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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