Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
