the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
