living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
