Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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