Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
