mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize