ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
