theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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