At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
