saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
