whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
