im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
