Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
