If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
