Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
