yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
