she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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